Good (almost) early morning! It’s nearing midnight and that is when my mind tends to be at it’s busiest. There is a name for people like that. Nighthawk? Bullbat?
I mean, if I were to try to get myself up at an ungodly hour (like anytime before 9:00 AM) I would never get anything done. This is why night owls (that’s the word) are more creative! Just kidding, my mother would smack me for saying that. She’s the most morning-est person I know.
Anyways. Allow me to start with explaining what my title is all about. First off, it is pretty self explanatory. However, I will go further into depth and give greater details behind it’s meaning.
It’s about self worth, of course. It’s one of those late night inspired writings. But there’s much more to it than that. There’s a message within my words I hope someone can grasp. But the real reason I am writing this, is for reasons far more personal. I believe some of the greatest lessons, words and messages to be relayed is by someone who speaks from experience. Someone who is speaking to others by speaking to themselves first. Only then, do their words truly carry the power they need to because that person knows the full effect of the lesson. Because they had to first learn it.
I read an article on self worth written by ￼Jacqueline T. Hill titled “What is Self Worth?” It stated “Self-worth is a fundamental part of our being, and it controls the way we see ourselves. Everything we think about, all the emotions we feel, and even the way we act is a product of what value we place on ourselves by ourselves.”
Sure, you can be an incredible person who is loved by many, but no matter how many people tell you how wonderful you are, you will never be anything of what they say in your mind until you find your worth for yourself. It’s not about feeling like you’re all that and a bag of chips, it’s about realizing your true potential and true beauty from within and out.
It goes along with this simple thought: “I am mine first, before I am anyone else’s.” I cannot be empty and expect to be able to pour myself out to others. If I desire to give of myself, I have to be full of good things to give. Now, let me clarify, I am God’s first and foremost. But I have grown to realize that sometimes you have to take a step back and do something good for yourself. Learn to find the value within yourself. Not because someone else placed that value on you, not because someone says, “you have value” but because YOU say “I have value.” Why? Because if you have determined you have worth because you have been told by someone(whether a friend, boyfriend, family member), that same person could turn around and completely take that “worth” away. Because it is something they placed on you. It is as if they placed a price tag on you and at any point they can change your worth. Do not allow someone to form your own opinion of how great or not great you are. Do not ever allow anyone to tell you what you’re worth. Know what you’re worth without a word from anyone. Coming from someone who has lacked confidence in a lot of areas, and has been down this road many times, I know it takes time, prayer and self reflection. So do just that. Do things for yourself. Take on challenges, try new things, go on walks, read a book and ignore everything else for a while, give yourself a break. Go on vacation, sit on the beach and leave all your worries and stresses behind you for a time. You deserve that.
If we are talking about flaws, I have plenty. But accepting that I do and that it’s okay to have them is key. At times I tend to care too much what other’s think. There are certain people I place on a pedestal and what they think of me tends to be how I think of myself. If one of those individuals were to tell me I am an amazing person, I will think pretty good of myself. But another could tell me I am not good enough and I will be convinced of their every word. That is a flaw. Because I am allowing my worth to be determined by others. My goal is to get to the place where even someone I hold dear could look me in the eyes and tell me “you’re not enough” and I could walk away knowing that I am, despite their view of me. Again, why? Because I belong to God. He created me. I am His. What kind of price do you think God would place on you? I’ll tell you, His very own life. That’s what you’re worth to Him. And He is the one who created you. I think He knows your true value.
Now to my title. “When I Value Myself, I Can Be of More Value To Others”. In my opinion, you will be incapable of loving others If you do not love yourself. I have heard people say of broken relationships, “they could not properly love or show love to their significant other , because they were unhappy with themselves.” and there is so much depth to that. Love and value yourself, for when you do it will show itself with how you treat others. How many times have you heard of people being mean or cruel to others because they were unhappy with themselves, or unhappy with life? Often times it is not life itself that is making them unhappy, but how they view life. There are plenty of individuals who have tough lives, but yet they are completely content and happy. There is a peace about them that people reach for, yet they don’t understand it. One thing I know for sure, with God this task of finding self worth is so much more possible. Psalms 139: 13- 15 states “For though hast possessed my reins: thou has covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.” Remember that, you are wonderfully made. That is how God sees you, and God’s view of you should surpass anyone else’s.
Having a sense of self worth will draw the right people to you. When you do not value yourself, it will show in every aspect of your demeanor. A person with no self worth gets walked on and mistreated. A person who values themselves will demand things that only the right people can give. Remember this; when you are full of good things, good things will pour from you. There will come a day when someone will need you, and you want to make sure you are full of good things to give them.